i can be so mean when i wanna be

oh my goodness!!! im writing because its a day where...guess what....surprise.....omg omg omg....I HAVE NO MONEY. this is not really a surprise to me. i never have any money. haha! i have a new boytoyish person guy thingy. i dunno what to call him. hes really cute. i hate the way he texts. french speaking gas pumper is out the door!!! well....im out his door maybe? he said he wanted to take me out then never did so i was a lil livid! how dare you reject me, fool! you asked for MY NUMBER!!! oh my goodness. ok im done.

where have i been??

my cute new shirt :)

me in my cute new shirt!

in as few words as possible...

this is my sunday: get up at 11, check out postsecret!! go to gas station for much needed nicotine (i need to quit fo sho) went to grammas ate spaghetti that i didnt like but i did like the sweet potatoes!! yum. it was a delicious day of resting, relaxation and fam. yay.

ps: i found out more about my gas pumper!! he is in college for some good stuff and he speaks french!! oooooohhh la la!! he finally asked for my number too. i gave it to him and he said he was gonna text me. he hasnt yet but i did see him this morning at the gas station. he probably thinks im stalking him....ha!

wow what a crazy twist in events?

so i started this bad little blog with the thought that no one would ever read it and id be forever destined to live a lonely little blogger life with no one but me and my....blog? i guess. i was (kinda...maybe....a little bit....) wrong. with these 3 comments ive recieved, im well on my way to blogger STARDOM. i'll soon be up to 100+ comments a day and be written about all over the internet and i'll say "oh thats just my little blog." hehehe....just jokin. but thanks for the comments, gals! i drove past the gas station on my way home and there was that little green car looking at me. i was thinking of dropping in and saying hey but then i went whoa whoa whoa, chica, you just got off work and look like death warmed over, dont go getting too crazy here. so, alas, i may go on my way BACK to work. just cuz. maybe i might need a diet dr pepper to keep me hydrated on my loooong 15 minute ride to work. just a thought....

anywho.....i heard from this guy that i talked to waaaaay back when i was the fresh young age of 16. he was in college and he was my dream at that point in time. i cant exactly remember what attracted me to him. was it those blue eyes? the southern lazy drawl accent that i love so much, yet cant explain why? he was a pessimist to the extreme with a hatred for anything mainstream...i kinda rhymed there. i should be a novelist with this shit spewing from me. anyway, we both went our separate ways because he was 6 (!!!!!) years older then me and my mom found out. maybe that was for the best, i cant imagine being where i wanted to be with him right now. married....kids?!?!?! i'm thinking of asking him if he wants to get together sometime...just to see how hes lookin and all that. i hope hes grown out of hating everything, especially religion. it'll be fun for him to see how much ive grown up and vice versa.

so did i mention the fact that i have to go back to work tonight? ugh ugh ugh. i dont know why i volunteered....i'm a sucker. oh well...i'm off to go take a shower and nap....i'll need it. updates on mr. mansy (mansys i guess...gas station and world hater...) coming soon enough....soon enough.

kissies for now!!

ps, pps, ppps, and whatnot

yes i am posting on a friday night. this is because i am flat broke, no gas, no nothing. flat broke. i thought about going to a friends house to just chill, but who doesnt want to do stuff on friday night? well, besides me, i guess? well i do want to do something but as i said before FLAT BRIZZOKE. so i decided to stay home, do some laundry, watch wifeswap (what a ridiculous concept this show is, and yet i continue to go on watching it?) and write on my blog. something i havent done in like a week. ive neglected this cute little thing. some people have more posts in a day then i do in a whole weeks worth of blogger posting. shall i stop talking about blogging and start blogging?

i really think the guy at my local gas station wants to ask me out or something. every time i go there, he makes it a point to pop out of wherever he is, if he isnt the checker, and chat with me. yesterday he made it clear when he asked me to stay for a lil bit and talk to him. who has time for this? oh, me. i have nowhere to be because i have no money to go anywhere, but how does he know this? i guess its written on my face. he asked me my birthday, my age, my political views and what cell phone provider i have (verizon, thankyouverymuch!). he asked me why i was standing so close to the door, poised for a getaway. he wants to get to know me better?? and i just fed right into this because hes moderately attractive, funny, and friendly. all things i like in a man. also, he looks extremely huggable. do you know what i mean? someone who just LOOKS like they could give a nice hug? i hope you do, because its an important thing to be able to scope out!!

anyway, i cant imagine him asking for my number after this long. i knew his name and he didnt know mine. he drives a bad car (i know, i know...im sorry! it matters a little bit!!) and he works at a gas station for a living....it doesnt seem ideal. but then i realize that there are probably so many more things i dont know about him. ambitions he may have beyond manning a gas pump. i dont know, if i had readers, i may ask for an opinion, but i dont so.......? ill have to figure this out myself, peeps! peeps = me. because im the only one who reads this. ok....i think im done.

pppps: my diet is going quite well, thank you.

these are a few of my faaaavorite things!

my cute niece, and....

my cute nephew :)

my cute dog!!!

my tattoos :)

my hair and......

my hair?!@?!?!!??

where do you want to go?

im longing for the words to describe why exactly i made this blog. in the world of facebook and myspace i decided i needed something more concrete. something more mine, rather then being for other people. someplace where i could come and vent my thoughts, insecurities, frustrations, loves, and all the stories i have to tell. i want to remember these times, because everything is changing. i am changing and evolving into someone who is the same at the core of everything, but maybe more mature, more forgiving, more loving. i want to remember my life, every little funny, or even painful, detail. i want to remember everything on the road thats leading to me to what i'll be, who i'll be.

also, sometimes, its hard to put yourself into perspective and realize that some of the things youre doing are wrong for you. ive let myself slip in these past few years. ive become complacent and thats never a good thing to be. maybe i'm too afraid of change, too afraid to put myself out there, warts and all. to get hurt. from this day out, i'm going to start living this one life i have. hurt be damned. maybe people will read my journey, or maybe it'll just be here just for me but however it turns out, i want to make this year the best ive ever had.